


[MST] The Mary Sue Over at Gintama Fanon Wiki

by Ki_no_Shirayuki



Series: 型染 — Katazome [5]
Category: Gintama
Genre: Feminist Themes, Gen, MST3k-Style Riffing, Mary Sue, Stupidity, WTF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-22 18:52:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13770366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ki_no_Shirayuki/pseuds/Ki_no_Shirayuki
Summary: A.k.a. GINTAMA AND HAKUŌKI ARE NOT THE SAME, MOTHERFUCKING GOD DAMN IT.I discovered this OC when browsing Gintama Fanon Wiki and decided that a spork of her profile is in order.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> As with all Gintama-verse fic spork, it's supposed to be [Yamanami](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Ki_no_Shirayuki/pseuds/Yamanami%20Kei-ichirou%20%E5%B1%B1%E5%8D%97%20%E6%95%AC%E4%B8%80%E9%83%8E)'s job, but since he's a terrible sporker who never comments on anything other than grammar, spelling and punctuation, so he's out. [Serizawa](http://archiveofourown.org/users/RainMidori/pseuds/Serizawa%20Suzume%20%E8%8A%B9%E6%B2%A2%20%E9%9B%80) dislikes sporking and would probably slay the Sue outright because he's the leader of the Sue-slaying squad of Shinsengumi, he needs and wants to finish his job efficiently, and where's the fun in that? That means I have to take up the job. Now let's carry on.
> 
> The link is [here](http://gintamafanon.wikia.com/wiki/Shimada_Keiko) for anyone who's interested.

**First, let's take a look at her picture:**

**Yeeeeah, it's totally not created from an anime character generator or anything.**

**Shimada Keiko**  ( **島田恵子** , Shimada Keiko) is the assumed name of  **Adachi Yuri**  ( **安達百合** , Adachi Yuri),  
**And her alias is listed in the infobox as her name. Look, I have no problem naming the article as the name she's more frequently referred to as, but in the infobox, the "name" field is where _real_ names belong. For example, Otose's canon wiki article is still named as such, but  "Terada Ayano" is what goes in the "name" field in the infobox. Also, I don't think the  **合 kanji is ever read as "ri", last I checked.****

Shinsengumi's female spy.  
**And this is what firmly places her into the Mary Sue territory. Established Gintama-verse rule: NO WOMEN IN SHINSENGUMI. None. Nada. This is the reason why Okita had to be made into a dude; the manga author realized the Shinsengumi historically didn't employ women. Before you say this is sexist, let me remind you that Gintama itself is a pretty feminist series. Sorachi Hideaki dislikes female characters who are too stereotypically feminine, and this is a series were women beat the shit out of men and men beat the shit out of women, LGBT people exist, stalking is never considered an act of true love and female characters do all sorts of cringy "unfeminine" things. You know that Kagura is the first female anime lead to puke?**

She was a former courtesan-in-training in Yoshiwara, along with her older sister Adachi Yuka ( **安達有香** , Adachi Yuka)  
**Shouldn't that be _Yū_ ka though?**

before she escaped Yoshiwara at the expense of her older sister’s freedom.  
**Family-member-in-tragedy cliché**

* * *

##  Appearance

Keiko is a petite young woman with slim and seemingly fragile figure.  
**Because God forbid you be anything other than thin.**

She has a kind, beautiful face and often seen smiling;  
**Of fucking course. Not like that trait is already covered by Otae or anything.**

if it's not from her uniform, one would never think that she is affiliated with the Shinsengumi.  
**Because she shouldn't be. Remember, no women in Shinsengumi.**

She has long light brown hair with bangs parted on left side with a strand falling down to her left shoulder. A part of her hair dangles down to her right chest, with curl in the end.  
**Which is, you know, a totally original design the author came up with _(sarcasm)_.**

Her hair is tied in half-ponytail style, held by a piece of metal _kanzashi_ with dangling red roses, a gift she received from Hijikata.  
**Romancing a hot canon character. Hallmark of a classic Mary Sue.**

Her eyes are round, and have the same color as her hair.  
**Yeah, toooootally original.**

She is normally wearing a typical Shinsengumi uniform, but she wears black skirt tightened with brown belt instead of black trousers. In addition, she wears thigh-high black socks and black low-heeled boots.  
**Because trousers in a girl's uniform are a crime against the laws of the universe _(sarcasm)_. Who allowed you to sluttify the uniform like that? Wait, who said you can be a Shinsengumi in the first place, let alone modify the uniform for your stupid fanservice purpose?**

At her left hip is her _kodachi_ sheath.  
**Without a sword in it?**

On her day off, she wears pinkish _kimono_ with small floral and white crane pattern, red _obi_ , white _tabi_ socks, and brown _zori_ with red straps.  
**And pink _koshihimo_ and white _nagajuban_ and _juban_ and white _datejime_ …**

Beneath her _obi_ , she hides a _tantou_  for self-defense.  
**But shouldn't it be called a _kaiken_ in this case?**

Her hair is tied into half-bun, held by small comb-type  _kanzashi_  decorated with hanging  _sakura_  on the right side.  
**That sounds like a pretty expensive hair ornament! I bet that's something only an apprentice geisha would regularly wear.**

During the events of the Dekoboko Arc, she switched gender due to a curse and was seen on her male form  
**Shouldn't it be _in_ her male form? Besides, isn't this the gender she should be if she were to become a Shinsengumi?**

In that form, she had short and slightly messy light brown hair with fringes which frames half of her face.  
**Which totally doesn't sound like Mitsuba's design or anything.**

Her body is way taller than her normal form and she showed several of hypertension symptoms (such as nose bleeding out of nowhere and getting her face all red without any cause) due to high intake of salt while in her normal form.  
**She should have been hospitalized by now.**

She wears a proper Shinsengumi uniform with black boots and she wields a normal _tachi_ instead of her usual _kodachi_.  
**One can only wish she stays this way.**

Later, she was seen wearing a dark green _haori_  
**Without a kimono underneath it?**

and brown sandals.

* * *

## Personality

Keiko was originally a soft-hearted individual,  
**Like all good Mary Sues.**

who got hardened by the series of unfortunate events which befall her and her family.  
**And how hardened, we never get to see. Also, cliché.**

Hardened even further by the _Kyokuchuu Hatto_ , the regulations of Shinsengumi,  
**Which she should never have to follow, because they're from an organization she will never belong to.**

she turned into strong-hearted and strong-willed girl, determined to protect Edo and all its civilians.  
**Cliché.**

She is calm, level-headed, and very intelligent.  
**By the way, what are her flaws?**

She also had a kind heart, almost too kind that Okita once said that her kindness will someday hurt her badly.  
**Okita: 'Sides, why the fuck do you get to be a girl while I don't?**

This was proven to be true in Shinsengumi Mutiny Arc, when she found out that her older sister is actually a spy for Kiheitai,  
**I can give her big sis some credits for being part of an organization that actually allows women. She may even be a believable and likable character, unlike the Sue she has for a sister. But too bad, she's the bad guy.**

sent by Takasugi Shinsuke  
**Oh fuck, she's probably another Sue who's romancing him.**

to accompany Itou Kamotarou and to monitor Shinsengumi from inside.  
**Does this mean she's also a Shinsengumi? She can't infiltrate and "monitor them from inside" without rousing suspicion if she isn't one. Besides… isn't she dead? In the Background section, it's revealed that she died at the hands of Hyakka. No, and Ms. Sue isn't said to have more than one big sis, last I checked. JUST WHAT THE FUCK? My brain hurts trying to comprehend this crap!**

Even after got hurt, she quickly stood up on her own feet, and still as kind as ever to others.  
**Ah, Mary Sues and their pure, incorruptible goodness. She sounds _way_ too much like a typical otome game protagonist,  _the character type that Sorachi Hideaki despises and does not belong in Gintama_.**

Even though she's not really naïve, there are some occasions that her childlike innocence and naivety will show up  
**That's basically saying, "She isn't naïve, but kinda is."**

without she even realized it, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. When Gintoki asked her if she liked Hijikata, she replied innocently that she really liked him, and also all the people in Shinsengumi because all of them had treated her nicely.  
**So nicely they fucked their own established rule!**

One occasion when she and Hijikata is walking down the street together from an errand, they met Kondou who just got beaten up by the woman of his dream.  
**DREAMS. Besides, do the readers need to know this? This is just a summary, details like that are not important!**

Kondou asks her whether she and Hijikata are dating, and she asked him back "what is dating"  
**QUESTION MARK.**

in confusion. Hijikata cleared this up by saying that he and Keiko has just finished an errand, and he was escorting her back to headquarter.  
**Gotta love how the author tries to give her a goofy characteristic only to fail miserably. Aside from this, there are absolutely no humorous traits to this OC! Makes me wonder if the author knows what kind of series Gintama is. Did they, like, seriously think Gintama is Hakuōki or something?**

However, after Okita Mitsuba Arc, her feelings for Hijikata began to change slowly after she witnessed how strong his feeling for the dying maiden.  
**Is she going to wisen up and realize a Sue like her does not deserve affection from him?**

She often tells Yamazaki about how she feels for the demonic Vice-Commander, that she often felt an “unknown pain” on her chest when she remembered his words for Mitsuba and how her heart beating faster when they were close.  
**Oh, just shut the fuck up and stop trying to turn Gintama into a shōjo series, it's fucking grating as hell!**

Yamazaki told her repeatedly that what she felt towards him is called “love”; that she finally experiencing how is it to fall in love with someone, in this case, Hijikata.  
**No, it's just fangirl obsession.**

She is overly fond of salty foods, going as far as to sprinkle a lot of salt to her foods,  
**Which should have given her tons of kidney and heart issues.**

a trait she shares with Hijikata Toushirou (pouring a lot of mayonnaise) and Okita Mitsuba (sprinkle a lot of chili powder).  
**But you know what the difference is? Is that their condiments only contain little salt and thus won't affect health as much as pure salt does.**

Strangely enough, her cooking tastes normal, good even.  
**But it's still going to give the people eating it massive health problems.**

Her favorite snack is salty  _senbei_  and she is also fond of instant coffee in bottle pack.  
**And my eyes are still peeled in search of a flaw in the entire description.**

_To be continued_


	2. Chapter 2

##  Background

Adachi Family was formerly a rich family;  
**It wasn't just a rich family, it was a fucking _samurai clan_  related to the Fujiwara and had ties with the Hōjō and all that shit! I know Gintama features figures from other periods too, but having this clan here and cutting off its ties to both of the aforementioned clans is just… Gah!**

this is the very family in which Yuka and Yuri was born.  
**God forbid you're from a commoner family.**

They enjoyed normal childhood like any other children,  
**Because everyone's childhoods are the same, including those born to a wealthy clan *coughcoughKatsuracoughcough* *coughcoughTakasugicoughcough*.**

and they get along well with both their family and friends. After their grandfather passed away, however, the glory of Adachi Family grew dim and eventually, this family went into ruin.  
**There goes a great samurai clan.**

To solve the family's financial problem, it was decided that they would sell the young girls to red-light district. Partially through force, they did sell the daughters of Adachi Family to the famous red-light district, Yoshiwara.  
**So the author took a glorious clan and fucked it up to massive proportions by having two of its members sold into prostitution. Riiiight.**

The oldest, Yuka, grew to hate their family  
**Yeah, I would, too.**

while the youngest, Yuri, decided to swallow her pride and give in to the situation, and together they went into training even though they didn’t want to. In the brothel they were sold to, the sisters went through endless abuse for years from the fellow courtesans and even from their own mentor.  
**Cliché, cliché, cliché. Even the abomination and blight against humanity that is Memoirs of a Geisha is less clichéd and stupid than this, and that's saying something.**

Fed up by this, Yuka took her sister and they tried to escape from Yoshiwara. Unfortunately, they were caught by the Hyakka and Yuka decided to stay behind,  
**Yo, she's _dead_. But for some reason she is still able to join Kiheitai later. Yeah, wrap your mind around that one.**

allowing Yuri to (barely) escape from Yoshiwara.  
**Well, R.I.P. Yūka. You are free from this Suetastic crapfest.**

After successfully escaping Yoshiwara, Yuri had nowhere to go and was stranded in Edo’s streets. Swallowing her pride once again as the daughter from the once prestigious Adachi Family,  
**I still haven't forgiven you for ruining such a glorious clan, author!**

she did many odd jobs, such as dishwasher in various restaurants and even makes use of her sewing hobby as a means to earn a living, making cute perfume satchels from any rags she can found in the street.  
**Because she's a girl, her odd jobs have to be cute.**

This seems to be the best option for her as she can slowly earn a stable income, but her uncle, the current head of Adachi Family (and the main cause of the family’s ruin) found her and tried to take away all the money she had saved from scratch.  
**The questions are: How? And why? How did he fuck up his clan and why did he need to do it? Also, if the clan was already destroyed, why did it still need a head? The motherfucking _Adachi_ clan in ruins, really? I've never read about its going down in ruins in any historical documents. Sides, what's the uncle's name? He seems like an important character here!**

Unwilling to give up the money, she ran away again from her uncle and somehow she find herself in front of Shinsengumi headquarter. Without thinking,  
**Since when is she thinking? She's an idiot!**

she went inside while crying for help to Hijikata Toushirou and Yamazaki Sagaru, who happened to be at guard duty at that time. Unable to turn a civilian down, they decided to help her   
**Their duty is to serve the Bakufu, not the civilians.**

and in the end, they successfully fend Yuri's uncle off from dragging her back by force.  
**And then did he get punished for his crimes?**

Hijikata then brought her inside to be questioned.  
**Then he called Serizawa Suzume in and the Sue is wiped away from existence. The end.**

She introduced herself as **Mary Sue… oh, sorry** Shimada Keiko  
**But why does she need an alias? She has no living _supportive_ family members to protect identity for as far as we're concerned, no home, and she isn't on the run like Katsura. Hiding her name isn't going to be of much help.**

and told him everything that has happened to her, except the fact that she was a former courtesan-in-training and that she was the daughter of Adachi Family.  
**Somewhere, a historical figure was crying.**

When she was asked about her home, she said that she doesn’t have any place to be called “home” anymore. Hijikata intended to send her to social home, but Kondou Isao intervened and allowed her to stay in Shinsengumi headquarter with one condition: she must become a spy for Shinsengumi.  
**Kondou: So, you're allowed to stay here on one condition that we'll screw our rule for you.  
Hijikata: In case you don't understand, he's subtly asking you to fuck off.**

Hijikata disagrees because the work of a spy is not a plaything and on top of all, she is a ~~civilian~~ **woman**.  
**I actually agree with Hijikata here, except for that bit at the end.**

Kondou replied that it would be advantageous if Shinsengumi had at least one female spy under their wing.  
**Urggghhh… Need me to explain again why Okita is a guy in the first place?**

Kondou adds that he will be responsible for this action and will write a full formal report to the police superintendent, Matsudaira Katakuriko.  
**No, you don't have to take responsibility for this. It's the Sue who has to apologize to the Shinsengumi, the Gintama canon and the fans.**

Hijikata gave up,  
**Come on! Don't give up so easily!**

and put her under Yamazaki's supervision for spy training and such.  
**Then he force-fed her with _anpan_ until she died. The end.**

She said thank you to both Kondou and Hijikata while bowing repeatedly,  
**Again with the unnecessary details in a fucking background summary.**

and swear that she will work hard to repay the kindness they had showed her.  
**You know the only way to repay their (undeserved) kindness? GET YO' ASS OUT OF THE SHINSENGUMI. LEAVE GINTAMA CANON ALONE.**

* * *

##  Trivia

Her assumed name is based from Shinsengumi's real spy, Shimada Kai.  
**At least the author got to a good start by actually basing her Sue off a historical figure. But even then, it's no excuse to create a blatant Sue like you did. Were your character Shimada Kaito instead of Shimada Keiko, I would have eased up my criticism.**

_The end. Now let's wait until Serizawa comes and kills this Sue off._


End file.
